The world and God, a fight, words, fear and ignorance, love and understanding

***

Were the whole blasted world to rise up now and denounce me, I would not budge an inch. I live my own life. And in that life I live I have even so much as gone to war against God- even God. I held firm inside myself and told him what I thought of his malicious world, and I gave it to him as to how he had messed with my people and my own life. My life! I went to war against God  and ...I lost. Yes, I lost, for reasons which will become obvious soon, and now I see that it could not be otherwise. But let me tell you, from that fight I came out impermeable to the likes of man; once you have raged against a much greater force than yourself, whether you win or lose, the rest of mankind is but a broken gun without any bullets.

Words are hard death to the soft living One.

Only fear or ignorance will limit the amplitudes of our suffering and joy, only love or understanding will extend us.       

Stretch out then into those infinite directions; explode from nowhere. Open up, and the flood of sorrow, and loss, and love and beauty will come pouring in. You cannot stop it, you cannot increase it. You can only ride the highest of the highs, and the lowest of the lows, and screw the heartless median.

***

These selected fragments are excerpted from unpublished writings by Jack Haas; selections from the notebooks 1990-2005.