Affirmation, awareness, headstones, ghosts, Doppelgangers, and photosynthesizing

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Affirmation is a consequence.

The only true awareness is awareness of awareness.

As if alone, in a cold room, during the last breath, one's whole life flashes before their eyes, and one assumes they are living, as if life is not already forgotten. We live our whole lives at the very moment of death. A fait accompli, life is already over. Thought is a pall‑bearer. One lives posthumously. One lives forgotteness. We have already died. This life we live is the death we died. Headstones over the graves of dead possibilities. Doppelgangers terrified of themselves. Ghosts haunting the forgotten hallways of time. We live not.

Just a flash of light in the middle of night and there are plants which begin photosynthesizing erroneously, at the wrong hour. They injure themselves with impatient enthusiasm. And I have learned useless truths that serve only to deny me wonder; I have seen flashes of light, and now I am truly blind. Sight makes a man crazy. Sometimes a little light only makes things darker.

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These fragments are taken from unpublished writings by Jack Haas, selected from the notebooks 1990-2005.