Mystery, intoxication, love, and a drunken king in pajamas

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I want to tell you what it means to live life without the strangulating entanglements of the mind. I want to explain the thrilling and perilous ride into the dark and ever-new, always changing and unknown, without direction, without guidance, without fear, towards the mystery collapsed in upon itself, until it remembers itself incomprehensible, and hallows itself as the mystery I.

If I could only bestow upon everyone, for only a split second, the absolute intoxication of our mysterious lives, and leave them then to accept or reject the experience as they will, then perhaps I might leave this plane of melancholy in peace.

            It does not matter how many readers, if any, will believe what I say here, for what I say is true, and it is better to speak the truth and be doubted than to lie and be believed. My concern is only to speak the truth, as best as I know how.

And if the world were to end today, am I but a drunken king in pajamas and a wool coat, sitting lonely in the wilderness because I could give my people freedom but not love, and so am the guilty sovereign of their lostness?

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These fragments are taken from unpublished writings by Jack Haas, selected from the notebooks 1990-2005.