Transformation, expectation, a derelict, a millionaire, and God

***

Transformation

If it was simply from a lack of necessity that motivation lingered behind indecision, then choice would forfeit coherence and instead embrace novelties transcending obvious need; direction would be emancipated from outcome, and one would find one’s destination, guided by the inevitable, without even knowing one’s way.

You have been, are, and forever will be, as wrong as wrong can be. You are not what you think you are, not even close. You, who are not you, who are you?

            Give up expectation of outcome, and you will come out.

If you hold onto anything, you lose everything. If you let go of it all, you become the all.

Man is not capable of being man. Only god is capable of being man.

God is the most inaccurate word in the world. And the most accurate.

Man searches for god like an impoverished derelict, darting frantically about, scanning the ground for lost change. God searches for man like a twenty-dollar bill fallen into the seams of a millionaire’s wallet.

What a man finds when he seeks god is only his resistance to god seeking him.

Everything is bound in together, somehow, but, then, ‘everything’ is a misleading term.

            The largest bubble needs only the smallest pin to burst it.

***

These fragments are taken from unpublished writings by Jack Haas, selected from the notebooks 1990-2005.