The dream, God and man, duality, an unbreakable placenta, idea, and freedom

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Man has turned the dream into a nightmare.

The contradictions and problems of this God-man duality which runs amok within us all, as I see it now, come in a couple of sublime, observable dispositions. The first, which some people contain, is this: God became man, but then did not want to be man, mostly because of the fact that he remembered being God. But eventually he forgot he had been God, yet somehow, he was still was God, but not the God he had been before, for he thought he was only man, which was confusing, for very good reasons, none of which he could think of, because of the amnesia, and that is when all hell broke loose, so to speak.

Idea was an unbreakable placenta which I was pressed up against continually; I was squashed into concept, and into conception. And when it finally snapped, and I emerged, the world was still the same, and so was I, except now I was finally in it, and making it. Now I belonged to the world, and the world belonged to me. I understood it no better, but now I did not need to understand. In fact I was glad not to understand it. Now my non‑understanding was not a barrier, it was freedom itself. Oh, so many arduous years already on this earth, and I had only just begun to live

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These selected fragments are excerpted from unpublished writings by Jack Haas; selections from the notebooks 1990-2005.