Cavacava (Cava cava, Awa, or Kava):
spiritual experiences after the consumption of Cava cava,
the polynesian plant.
   
     The following excerpt is from
ROOTS AND WINGS: adventures of a spirit on earth, by Jack Haas, "The Kerouac of the new millennium." (FW)

For more insight into other projects Jack Haas is involved with, including photography and artwork, go to:
www.spiritandflesh.net
     I brewed up and drank a thick tea of Cavacava, and then sat alone in the quiet of the tropical forest, where I slowly eased further into myself than I had been able to attain in the past....
In fact, I was in such an immensely still, immaculate, and yet fully conscious state that in short time I had disbelievingly recognized the subtle division within myself, and within all humans- the division of the 'I AM' into the 'I' and the 'AM', which was a startling revelation, because it meant that my 'self' was actually a binary amalgamation of two almost autonomous halves: the discarnate, insubstantial, creative 'I', and the incarnate, manifested, created 'AM'. I was the 'I', expressing the 'AM', which I also was, and both were needed for me to feel 'I AM'. It was profound and disturbing, for now my self belonged to two separate realms; I was the two and the one, the whole and the divided. And I had a sense at that moment that most people live their entire lives thinking that their 'AM' is their whole 'I AM' and never stopping so completely within and without, that the subtle self, the true 'I', is recognized as the unmoving motivator that it is, and the 'AM' is recognized as the moving, materialized half.
     To be sure, when everything else falls away, only two things incorrigibly remain: the 'I', and the 'AM'; the ego may be gone, all hope might be obliterated, all pleasure, understanding, desire, pain, and memory may be finally scrubbed off the plate, but the Self and its expression endures. Which is to say, the 'I' continues to perceive itself undeniably, and it also continues to release the image, or vehicle, of itself, the 'AM', the manifest beingness of its unmanifest non-being, onto the plane of matter. 
     I also sensed then that the 'I' and the 'AM' were somewhat at odds not only within myself, but also within the whole world, and this was the cosmic separation of the Mother and Father aspects of the Godhead. And it was now necessary to attempt a permanent reunion between them, which would require the Self to take dominion over both, and that would require the rare and complex marriage of two separate elements, the male and female, the mind and body, the 'I' and the 'AM'.
     I sensed that there was an unavoidable tug of war going on between the two sides, as the gravity of the form sought to pull consciousness into the world, and the emptiness of consciousness tried to suck the form back into the void.
     I understood then why there is such strife and division amongst families, friends, couples, and countries- because the division causing the conflict exists right within us, and is only manifested outwardly as a mirror for our own inner lack of wholeness. And it was only going to be through a superhuman union of essence and form, of light and darkness, of the 'I' and the 'AM', that the tension would end and peace would prevail. ...





Jack Haas is a wilderness explorer, world traveler, and independent researcher and writer. He is the author of four highly acclaimed books:
THE WAY OF WONDER: a return to the mystery of ourselves, ROOTS AND WINGS: adventures of a spirit on earth, THE DREAM OF BEING: aphorisms, ideograms, and aislings, and IN, AND OF: memoirs of a mystic journey.
 
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